OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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