I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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