i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
