You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
