well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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