No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
