..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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