So drunk its hurt
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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