So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
