mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
