I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
