My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
