We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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