amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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