Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
