Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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