don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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