His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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