and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
