I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
