Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am available for nakedness
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
