So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize