I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
