i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
