But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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