Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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