dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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