I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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