I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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