Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
