Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think my tv is drunk
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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