So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
