What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize