Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize