i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
even my farts smell like vagina
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
