I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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