is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
