May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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