she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
