Just cropdusted the office
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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