Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
