you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
