Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
