oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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