I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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