Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
