Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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