i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
