All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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