I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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