O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
soo... how was my night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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