I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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