Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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