A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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