so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
