I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
