the day after is always just damage control
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
